Diesel Fueled

At least we lasted longer than Kim Cambell

2004-06-10T19:05:00.000-04:00

Looks like blogs are fading. Maybe we're all too busy, or there's nothign left to comment on. I think we're all lazy, to be honest. And apathetic. That's why I'm firmly convinced, that, even though eventually someone will read this and want to respond, he will ultimately sit wherever he is until hunger pains force him to go get more food. Then he will sit by the fridge for a while, eating, until someone rolls him over.

Oh, Summer. When we all get fat even though it's nice outside.

Going once, going twice, de-SOULED!

2004-05-19T20:59:00.000-04:00

Remember when Metallica did the whole
"If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take"
thing in Enter Sandman?

Well, this guy took it a little too seriously.

Doesn't he know that Metallica doesn't support MP3s? No iPod for you, my moronic and demonic friend.

Lucky for him, he may eventually raise enough, not to buy a real iPod, but at least maybe a CD or two. I sure hope my soul is worth more than your average Britney Spears compilation.

Official Press Release

2004-05-14T15:36:00.000-04:00

I will not be attending The Club in 2004-2005. At this point reasons are undisclosed. Sorry to those who were hoping otherwise in this matter.

I will be attending Shulich Business School instead, where hopefully I will learn and thrive and eventually make enough money to return to the Holy Land and start up a new Club.

See y'all next May.

Change this Baby's Diaper

2004-04-26T20:35:00.000-04:00

So I heard today that Barbara Walters will be hosting an upcoming episode of 20/20 in which the topic is, get this, the choosing of parents for adoption.
Let me explain. A 16 year old from the Midwest got knocked up, and now she wants to give up the baby. So they assembled 5 couples to battle for the rights to adopt the baby. Personally, I find this disgusting and disturbing. Turning a baby's life into a twisted version of the Bachelor scares me more than a subserviant chicken told to moon the viewer. In case you're wondering, this way-too-close-to-reality tv show has been called "Who gets this baby?"

Considering the obvious lack of morals on the part of the 20/20, I think it we owe them a large Thank You for at least having, despite being ethically-challenged, the courtesy not to drive the knife in farther and make Regis the host.

Further suggestions if the episode is extended into a full time slot:
1) Pull an Average Joe, and substitute an ugly baby. I suggest the infant version of Michael Jackson. Or just take one of his "friends."
2) Make the baby lay golden eggs, a la Joe Millionaire.
3) Have the prospective parents battle for immunity, then have them vote each other out when "your bib has spoken." Hopefully no one Survives.
4) Become a Bachelor wannabe, and have the baby play the field of the parents, making out with each of them on a different night, just like the whore she really is. Oh wait, that's her biological mother.

This Last Dance Can't Be Saved

2004-04-21T16:16:00.000-04:00

Prom Ticket: $100
Prom Limo (one way): $20
Prom Dress: $350
Afterprom: $20
After Afterprom: $40

Spending all your money in one night on something that really doesn't have that much meaning or importance: STUPID

There are some things in life money can't buy.
For example, brains.

Bet on it

2004-04-11T17:44:00.000-04:00

Mayor Miller and whoever Ottawa's mayor is have made a deal.
The Mayor of the team that loses the Battle of Ontario has to wear the winner's jersey at a city council meeting, and attend one of the winner's home games in Round 2. I guess Mr. Ottawa can takes solace in the fact that, despite the shame of being from said city, at least he gets to take a short vacation a little farther from Quebec.

Somewhere, a boatload of Egyptians are wearing the real blue and white.

The Fire is Lit

2004-04-09T15:23:00.000-04:00

First post. Wonder how long it'll take me to kick myself off the island.